Find true love first and then focus on Valentine ideas. The key for this is simple, just remember… “From the heart only LOVE comes out”…. No worries, I will explain…
If you want to skip the explanation of the phrase and go directly to the gift ideas, scroll down, really fast, you will see the cool photos. Must warn you though, you may just miss the key to finding TRUE LOVE.
…”From the heart only LOVE comes out”… These wise words I got from the owner of a local crystal shop while shopping for a gift for my aunt. I must admit, at the moment, it did not register, but as I kept thinking about the phrase, the more it made sense.
The key to discovering the magnitude of truth this phrase carries requires 3 major adjustments to your mindset: 1) self awareness, 2) putting your ego aside, and 3) courage to be vulnerable.
What does self awareness has to do with Valentines?
Well, here comes the bucket of cold water… You must have a fair degree of unbiased self awareness to determine your true intentions for your Valentine search… are you searching for the perfect gift to make the other person happy….mmmm with no strings attached… really? no ulterior motives, just pure joy of giving from the heart? Did you answered it? …. ouch!!!!
Forgive yourself and move on
The first time you realize you have been sooooo generous….ahem… for the wrong reasons is a shock and definitely could be overwhelming. Get over it, and don’t beat yourself up, what is done is done. Forgive yourself and move on. The good news is, now you know how to be honest with yourself and act accordingly. Look at the positive side of the coin, how much time, money and effort you are going to save just by being true to yourself…. I am not low balling you, when I say TONS! Thank you btw, I just carved a ton of resources for more “real” personal interactions….
Learn to be comfortable with yourself
Yes, sometimes staying at home watching a movie or going for a hike, is far more honest and true to yourself than …. you name it. Come on, really? you thought, I will air the dirty laundry in a public blog!! haha this is only my third blog, and besides, that would not be pure joy and love coming out of my heart, lol
Here are the first 5 heartfelt gift examples of the 10 true love Valentine ideas.
- From a pillow with a personalized saying of what you two say to each other before sleeping.
- A simple, to the point te amo mug with lots and lots of hearts.
- A deck of cards with the Turquoise Waters of Paradise Abstract art piece featuring a heart with you initials drawn on the sand, reminiscing that romantic vacation or honeymoon you once took.
- A lovely personalized Post-it-Note with your own photo, allowing you to send love notes every so often and keeping the romance alive.
- And of course a super cheesy but romantic photo card with a message from the heart. These will be treasured by your Valentine and will fill your heart with the joy of giving at the same time. If you ask me, it is a win win situation.
From the HEART, only LOVE comes out…mindset adjustment number two: Putting your ego aside
Well, this adjustment is the toughest yet, and one most responsible for batshit crazy heartbreak stories when relationships don’t pan out as we hoped they would.
Yes you heard me, our heartbreak is solely our doing and responsibility to overcome. We may go into a relationship (of any kind) with the best of intentions, and it is quite normal to believe the other party feels the same way. But this point of view is rather presumptuous and a recipe for disaster. Yes, it is our ego; it tells us how great of a catch we are and how everybody else should like us back.
The joy in acceptance
Here is the thing, all of us have our own preferences, likes and dislikes. Therefore, sometimes as difficult as it sounds, other people may not like us; and that is it. It is best to grant the other person or persons that freedom of choice, and move on. Surely the one person or persons who find you fascinating and want to spend time with you are around the corner.
Raise the bar, for you and others
Who knew by following step one and becoming self-aware and mindful of your choices you will open up a whole new set of detective like findings about other people’s behavior towards you… Now you are able to pin point that off feeling you had after hanging out with some people. Solution? Just like you have to correct your behavior, it is your responsibility to set healthy boundaries for yourself. And here is where the third “from the heart, only love comes out” mindset adjustment comes into play.
Courage to be vulnerable
Here it goes! Have the courage to be vulnerable, love yourself first! Even if it means you will be on your own. Yes, let me be more specific, LOVE YOUR SELF FIRST and get rid of your ego and its desire of being accepted and liked by others.
Set boundaries
In practical terms, the following rule is number one of healthy relationships and probably the most courageous practice: setting boundaries with kindness.
I know it sounds cheesy, but people who have your best interest at heart, and truly love and accept you for who are will listen to your efforts in setting healthy boundaries. They will make their best efforts to make adjustments, and would even apologize for their exposed shitty behavior.
On the other hand, some people would not acknowledge your attempts to set healthy boundaries and effort to have a more balanced relationship. This is when you have to be courageous, acknowledge your vulnerability and choose self love.
Choose self love
Chose self love, even if it means getting ousted by people who you thought loved you. Say bye to people who expect you to be the only one who reaches out, people who don’t call you back. Or worse people who call you, just to tell you they are calling you because they are so board and they have nothing else to do.
Have the courage to say good bye or see you later!
Chao to the people who use you as a gift giver just to return the gift or exchange it for cash. Auf wiedersehn to those who use you as a chauffeur or friendship manager. Sayonara to the entitled who look up and down at you, as if they are the fashion police. Adieu to those who invite you just to feed their egos by appearing selfless and generous; but in reality they just create a venue to criticize, judge, put you down, underplay your dreams and accomplishments.
Oh, but how to do that?
Rely on your intuition and how people make you feel…. If it feels right enjoy it; if does not feel right, set boundaries, and put some distance as needed. I mean really? who wants to hang out with people, who scold you for not loving them as much as they expect to be loved. I say good riddance to people who upon calling them out on their less than acceptable behavior choose to become defensive and blame you for having a bad personality or blame you for not taking their bulling as a joke. Finally, worst kind of them all, called out people who hop on their high horse and tell you they pity you and you are a disappointment to them…hmmm Good riddance!
Silver lining of setting boundaries and choosing self love
Now, on the much needed positive note, the main benefit of letting go of uneven relationships is finding yourself. Best of all, finding other people who truly want to hang out with you, call you, visit you, just because you are cool! Just simple, respectful interactions without expectations. These relationships must be cherished and celebrated. It is not a coincidence, that in this category, we will find close friends, few family members. If we are lucky we would also fin the one and only person we want to grow old with.
For these types of relationships we dedicate the last 5 of the 10 True Love Valentine ideas.
6. Organize a party with close friends, have a drink, let loose, be yourself and rejoice, because you are lucky you found such a cool group of friends. Make sure you keep in touch. It so easy now a days, a quick text, forward a funny meme, share a cookie recipe.
7. Romantic dinner for two. Set the mood, add you decorative touches, and make it special. Don’t hold back, express your love and affection; it if is the right person, it will be well received, appreciated and naturally reciprocated.
8. Remember the little ones, it is our behavior that shapes who they are. Most importantly it teaches them acceptable social behavior from the get go. It would be cool for the younger generation to learn how to love. To love and be generous with no strings attached. It would be amazing if they never forget to love themselves first. And it would be fantastic if setting boundaries with kindness comes naturally. Finally it would be amazing if kids, teenagers and adults have the courage to just LOVE, from the heart.
9. Once you have adjusted and improved your true love radar, you will find kind people are all over the place. You will realize there are a ton of people who are naturally happy and they find joy helping others. Although these type of people don’t expect anything in return. An unexpected thank you note acknowledging their kindness will keep them going. Few teachers and mentors come to mind. BTW- you can send them thank you note or a personalize gift any time of the year, not only for Valentines Day. Remember it is a gift for them to enjoy.
Other personalized gift ideas include: Electronic and tech related gift ideas.
10. The 10 true love Valentine ideas would not be complete without mentioning the most important relationship you will ever have. A relationship that will last all your life. Yes, that is the relationship you have with yourself. People will come and go, but you are stuck with you and your mind. For this reason, it is very important you take care of yourself first. Make sure that regardless of the cards life or destiny throws at you, you do everything in your power to keep a kind heart and enjoy life to the fullest.
